Emotions

Do you know how disruptive emotions, and desires, are? Part of what identifies us as human is a crutch. I wish I could maintain mechanical, steady work, focusing on one matter at hand and not be disrupted by the boredom or restlessness that prompts me to stop and look around and sigh. Often I catch myself sitting or standing, thinking about nothing, or waiting in a line without a book or paper in my hands, and I regret those moments of waste. There is blogging itself. Why I bother to write is an enigma, and the time it takes! There are habits to be broken, infinite "should-do's," and impossible self-imposed standards meshed with the simple, greatest fear of not being good enough. The coveted achievement now is complete control over my body. First the mind must be conquered.